Today has been a little rough but okay for the most part. It started off as most of my Tuesdays do, with a large number of meetings throughout the day. I seem to be making some progress with my client accounts but still have a long way to go to get things to a normal level where I can breathe.
Have had a bit of a headache this afternoon and not sure what the cause it. Normally it involves a lack of caffeine but I’ve had soda today and have even tried chocolate to try and get it to go away but with no avail. It could be caused by the fact that I don’t sleep well at night anymore. My dreams are vivid and while they are not nightmares they are borderline crazy which makes me feel exhausted when I get up in the morning. It’s like my brain won’t shut off even with taking NyQuil like it’s a prescription medication every night. I still wake up in the middle of the night most nights and it’s hard to fall back to sleep. My brain still won’t shut off from the business failure and how badly I have drained the family finances to try and pursue a dream I feel like I never should have done in the first place.
I feel like a loser who doesn’t deserve to be happy but should just be trampled on in the mud by those who are more successful. I just don’t know how to shake these feelings.